You’ve got it all worked out, or so you think. You’re going to be the perfect mum.

You’ve googled your entire pregnancy, you know exactly what to expect.

You will have a natural water birth at home, delayed cord clamping, you will fall in love with your baby the moment you lay eyes on them. You will breastfeed.

But things don’t always go to plan; and that’s ok.

Maybe your baby will become distressed and you’ll end up going to hospital 12 hours into your labour. You should probably have packed a hospital bag(like the internet told you to at 34 weeks), but you were optimistic, you had it all planned out, you weren’t going to hospital, so you didn’t need a bag.

Its ok to have an epidural if you just can’t take it anymore. After 15 hours of labour, cut yourself some slack.

Its ok if you don’t fall in love with your baby the first moment you hold them. Don’t feel guilty when you get handed this baby. And instead of feeling the “promised” rush of you love, you gasp and think: I carried you for 41 weeks and don’t even recognise you. That love will come, it will build up and one day a few months later you will suddenly realise just how much you love this little person.

If breastfeeding isn’t that great, it’s ok to give up, whether that’s a few months in or few days in. Don’t feel guilty about your decision. The woman that looked shocked at your baby’s bottle and exclaimed, “I breastfed, only the best for my babies”. Don’t worry about her, in a years time she will have another baby and *shock* *horror* she’ll bottle feed that one. You will have another baby at that time too, your baby will be exclusively breastfed but you’ll bite your tongue when she asks to use your microwave to warm her babys bottle because you know how hard it is to be a mum without having someone pass judgement.

Baby-led or puree, your mum will be horrified when she sees your baby chewing on a piece of toast, “he doesn’t have teeth”, “he’ll choke” she will exclaim. Equally so, your mummy friends would be horrified if you fed puree.

To vaccinate or not. Actually, that’s quite easy, the pros definitely outweigh the “hypothetical” cons.

There are a million decisions to make that first year, they all seem so very important, in a few years time, it won’t really matter which way you went, everything will turn out just as it should.

First time mum advice

Don’t google it, trust your instincts. If you still worried ask someone, but whatever you do, do not google it. Google makes things worse. You may choose to ignore this, but please, don’t google anything at 3am.

Don’t let any elses opinions get you down. You know yourself and your baby better than anyone, do whats best for you. I have 3 children, each child was very different as a baby, from hospital births to home birth, bottles to breastfeeding, dummies vs no dummies, disposable or reusable, baby-led to puree, I’ve done it all and I have no regrets, I did what was best for us at that stage.

Take advice with a pinch of salt. Learn to smile and nod, it helps to thrown in an “oh, ok”.

Don’t buy everything on the list “50 things your newborn baby absolutely needs”. Babies don’t need all those things. Don’t be tempted to buy them “just in case”. Once baby is here and you do decide you need something from the list then buy it, supermarkets are open 24/7 or Amazon Prime it.

The ultimate list of things your baby needs

Warmth

Love

Feeding

Touch is an important part of the bonding process, whether thats skin to skin contact(with mum or dad) or even a gentle massage. Vicks BabyRub has a mild fragrance of rosemary, lavendar and aloe vera and is gentle enough to add to your daily routine(from 6 months+). Its a multipurpose product providing moisture and comfort to delicate skin.